Fat. I have long hated that word. I remember my university nutrition professor teaching us about the food pyramid and the daily needed percentage of fats and carbohydrates. I remember thinking she was crazy. Right around this time, I was at war with myself and genuinely believed fat was my own worst enemy.
Flash forward, 12 years later, I can see all the things that had gone wrong. Finding resolve has been a slow and painful process and there have been things, which until quite recently, I had not been able to see or understand. While I have had the support of my family, the two pivotal people paramount to my peace are my boyfriend and Thorbjörg.
10 Years Younger in 10 Weeks has provided me with the support and confidence for healing. I had been searching for straight forward guidance and a framework to be comfortable within my body and with food. I also had never connected how much eating or not eating fat was intertwined with my peace of mind.
To backtrack, I had had a lot of mental and emotional issues in my late teens. I was consumed by thinking people would like me better if I was thinner or prettier. Since I had no control over my bone structure, ethnicity, or height, I knew my only controllable option was my weight. Yet, it was the method about controlling my weight that got out of hand.
At 18, my fear of fat developed into a self-destructive journey of bulimia, obsessive exercising, drugs, suicidal thoughts, and misery. You see, therapists, nutritionists, and doctors all told me what was lacking on a nutritional level. Psychologists and psychotherapists encouraged me to take anti-depressants and talk about my feelings. Even so, what was missing was information about how food affects the body, from living examples. I hated hearing about the food pyramid and being categorised into a certain BMI (Body Mass Index). No one ever explained, nor do I think they even knew, how avoiding fat like the plague was robbing me of my well-being.
At one time, I thought it was not possible to enjoy eating because I felt guilty every time I ate. I bought into low fat and nonfat thinking it would make me thinner, fitter, and able to love myself. Ironically, the food I was consuming was all processed carbohydrates, which turned directly into sugar. Since carbs are not a sustaining source of energy for the body, I was always hungry soon after. This resulted in me stressing about my next meal and feeling utterly uncomfortable. Thus, I became a bad friend, not only to myself, but to those who cared—all because I feared getting or eating fat.
Truthfully, we all deserve is to be healthy which is connected to genuine happiness. Certainly, I can blame mental unrest, but part of my problem had been my diet, which I had misunderstood until undertaking 10 Years Younger in 10 Weeks. By diet, I do not always mean eating less, cleansing, or avoiding calories. I am referring to normal day to day eating and the cellular and emotional effects eating unhealthy food has on the body and mind.
10 Years Younger in 10 Weeks gave me the courage to experiment with fat and therein find joy again in food. I do not mean to idolise Thorbjörg, but her book has been a springboard for a lot of change in my life. Many have told me that I would someday be able to help others because of my own experience. What these people did not understand was that I was a “closet-bulimic” up until last year. I had no idea how I could ever help someone else, more or less myself. It was not until now that I have felt capable of helping others heal. Thanks to Thorbjörg and with the support from my partner, I am now exploring being Paleo, and being sugar and gluten free has become a thing of ease and joy.
Don’t fear fat, but you must choose healthy fats. The right fats will not rob your cells of the nutrients they need. Proper fats will burn fat and give you a more peaceful and calmer mind. Scared of fat? Here are some ways, other than through food, to use fat on your body. Our bodies need love, care, and respect and this really does start from the inside out. If you are like me, sick of letting fear of getting fat run your life, you can become friends with your own worst enemy. You can learn to become friends with fat.
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